A couple days ago I was going through some of my old stuff that I stubbornly refuse to throw away. (I'm an organized pack rat who loves to hang on to the most minuscule memories.) And I ran across a list I made sometime when I was in jr high. This list was a ridiculous list of a tween (me!) with all the traits she looked for in "the perfect guy." I finally got rid of it because it was just so embarrassing to read these unbelievable thoughts that were so innocent, but I remember some of the traits listed: athletic but not an all about sports guy, smart but not a nerd, sensitive but manly, color eyes, taller than me but not too tall, friendly, and other traits I can no longer recall.
        I like to think I've grown up a lot since then. Unlike the girl then who was yearning to have a boyfriend, I actually have a boyfriend now, and I have to say, he is rather far from the "dream guy" I described to myself over 5 years ago. He is not very athletic. The only sport he plays is tennis and that's mostly (though not only) b/c I dragged him with me one day and he ended up having fun. But I can beat him in a match any day. He is very intelligent but he is very nerdy! (Something that I actually like a lot now.) He is sensitive as well, but he does not fit my jr high idea of "manly." Color eyes? Brown. Taller but not too tall? Well, depends on what  "too tall" is. What do you call a half a foot difference in height?
        It's really funny to think that even at that age I was already thinking of my dream guy, that I created these expectations that guys had to meet, expectations that had almost nothing to do with personality. I think a lot of the reason why this was so was because my best friend at the time was really into magazines, and I had a really fun time taking those obnoxious magazine tests that give you such superficial answers to the superficial questions of love, answers that made me create such a shallow list.
        At such a tender age I was already longing for a boyfriend. I often wonder if it was the same for guys. I mean, at that age, were they looking for a girlfriend or did they still want to play toy cars? Did they have a list of what a perfect girl was? If so, was it also a superficial list when we were still going through puberty and the girls around them didn't have hips or bust yet? What was a "perfect girl" to a jr high student just coming out of elementary school?
        As I said earlier, I'd like to think I've grown up a lot since then. Though I believe all humans are afraid of being alone, having a boyfriend isn't that big of a worry to me anymore. One, because I actually have one now; two, because I realize that my career comes before I am ready to find a boyfriend that will be a potential spouse; and three, personality comes before superficial answers given in magazines.