Marriage

Marriage has always being a very strange, interesting thought for me. Since I was little until about the time that I was in high school, I, my parents, and my parent's friends told me not to get married. I was always persistent to the idea that I wouldn't.

For as long as I can remember, I've been very independent and focused on the goals of my future, I used to think marriage was an unnecessary distraction from the dreams I had. My parents have been together for about 23 years but they are not legally (or happily, at that!) married. In fact, as far as I know, most of my parent's friends are not legally married. Most have been with their partners for a good number of years but the only thing that seems to bind any of them are their children.

I used to think this was the norm. That even if you're not legally married, that fact that were living with your partner AND had children (after living together for a while) gave you the total right to call your partner your "spouse." Well, actually, I still think the above; the difference is that now, I don't want that to be MY norm.

While at my parent's friend's wedding this weekend, as I watched the couple of 8 years about to become (officially) husband and wife, I realized with more certainty than ever that I some day wish to be married.

At the tender age of 18, I realize it may sound like I don't know what I'm talking about when I say that. Truth of the matter is that I probably DON'T fully understand what it means to be married...but I think I have a (or some) good idea(s):

----Being in love does not guarantee a happy marriage. It guarantees a flame, a passion, but not the eventual lack of common ground. People are constantly changing, even when they're "grown ups." It is important to be able to distinguish mutual love from mutual interests [does that make any sense??? It does to me =)].
 ----As my dad says, marriage is not just about sleeping warm at night. What I take from this, is that there are problems a marriage has to face, some problems will deal with the couple against the world, others will deal with the marriage's survival, and others will deal with spouse vs spouse. And taking my dad's comment somewhat out of context, I believe it is important for a couple to ALWAYS sleep together. No matter what has gone on in the day (of course, with the exception of extreme conditions such as adultery or domestic abuse), I believe the bed of a married couple is one of the most vital pieces of furniture in the house.
 ----Sex is important in a marriage. It should definitely not be the focus of a marriage, but the mutual love and the covenant of marriage makes sex the most (or at least one of the most) intimate, soul touching experience that a marriage needs to survive.
----There are other things, but this is it for this time!