Earlier this week I came across a movie I recorded titled The 19th Wife on Lifetime that premiered 9/13/10.
This movie takes place in a secluded contemporary polygamist community ran by "The Prophet." After hearing about his mom's imprisonment for shooting his husband, the protagonist, Jordan, returns to this community despite his banishment several years back. He visits his old friend, a female named Queenie; their friendship was the reason for his banishment.

Jordan visits his mother in jail, where she swears she did not kill her husband. Though hesitant, Jordan,- with the help of Queenie- hunts for the identity of his father's murderer. At the same time, Queenie is dealing with her marriage as the first and ONLY wife thus far to her husband, Hiram. Hiram and Queenie insist to the Prophet that she remain the only wife. Meanwhile, she is secretly reading a book "from the outside" that chronicles the life of a wife who escaped the polygamist community. As she reads this, she realizes she doesn't want this life for her daughter or for herself.

At the end, we discover it was Hiram that shot Jordan's father. He did this as a result of the Prophet ordering him to take Queenie to Jordan's father's to be made into his woman. Hiram's love for Queenie was so deep that he chose to shoot Jordan's father than to see his wife as the wife of another man.

I have never believed in polygamy. To be honest, it was mostly because of the sexual aspect of such a life. There are few more disgusting things I can think of than my husband having sex with another woman right next to my room, then coming into my room to ask me for the same thing and then continuing with the following girl. The fluid transfer and the sloppy seconds for the rest of my life would be something I would not be able to bear; simply put, I find it gross.


But seeing this movie, I realized there is so much more wrong with polygamy than bad sanitation.


The psychological and emotional strains that women in this type of lifestyle suffer is incredible. Wives support each other and each help with the daily chores, but they are all rivals. They must all fight for their husband's time and their husband's money. Not only can they not have peace at home ( for there is no way of getting privacy in a house of over 19 wives and each with at least one child) but they also cannot get peace of mind.

In addition to this, wives suffer emotional pain as they see their husband bring home more wives, they see how they are being replace by younger, more attractive and fruitful women. This can be specially difficult for the first wife. Living as only one man and one woman, the arrival of another wife, of another person for the husband to spend time with, to have sex with, and to have other children with is a fact that can break down even the strongest woman in this type of community.

Personally, I would NEVER be able to accept this type of life. If I am giving myself completely to ONE man, my husband, then I expect my husband to do likewise. In my mom's point of view, why would any man want more than one wife to nag at him?